


Stitches

by spreadyourwingsandfly



Category: Black Panther (2018), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Humor, Male-Female Friendship, Realization, Sabotage, Self-Acceptance, Self-Esteem Issues, Shuri roasting T'Challa, self sabotage, will they or won't they
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-27 02:00:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15014192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spreadyourwingsandfly/pseuds/spreadyourwingsandfly
Summary: To say that your letter sent waves of shock through him would be a massive understatement. He read it over and over again, trying to understand how, what and why. He hates that when he thinks back because he understands how, what and why.How? He wanted your attention, you crave affection, and he never delivered despite his heart screaming at him to let go of the past and embrace something different.Why? It was unfair of you to play hero for him. He’d done the same for you, but your feelings were never quite clear to him. You’re the one that set the standards for the… situation. He just went along with it. He would never pressure you for more.In retrospect, he should have known. Other than Okoye, you are his best friend. But he was selfish and unselfish at the same time, as both of those are so balanced that they both outweigh each other and balance each other out in this scenario- he knew he couldn’t be with someone that didn’t want to be tied down to Wakanda. Not just because he’d want to find a queen one day, but because he couldn’t have another Nakia-sized heartache.And he’s not sure that he’d ever get over you.T'Challa's point of view of ''Dear Lover''





	Stitches

TRIGGER WARNING- Denial of feelings, keeping things bottled up, friends with benefits relationship, heartbreak,and self sabotage.

He thought he knew heartache when Nakia ended thing. She broke up with him right in the middle of college, realizing that she did want to be tied down to a life in Wakanda when her real calling was out there. To say that this hurt him would be a massive understatement. It felt like there was a constant lump in his throat after that. He’d tried to smile, tried to eat, tried to communicate, but the lump in his throat always got in the way.   
But he’s a prince, so he’s a master of pushing his emotions to the side in order to perform his royal duties. So he’d behave the way his dad expected him to behave.   
Then he’d call you. You were his hero, in a way. You always saved his heart, saved his feelings. To him, you were more than a lover.  
And he hated how selfish he felt- asking you to be by his side when each new girl came by. Asking you to pick up the pieces that are always left behind when each relationship fails.  
Because Nakia is Nakia, and he’s been trying to replace her. You know that. He knows that. Even his little sister knows that. Nakia was the one that got away.  
And you? He cares about you. Like, you’re not his girlfriend, but you’re more than friends. He cares about you, but he doesn’t know how to proceed from there.   
If Nakia is the one that got away, you’re the one that he’s pushing away.  
It’s his own fault, he feels, so it doesn’t make sense to him that the words that you wrote are hurting him this deeply. The ink bleeding through the page is reminiscent of the way the sadness is bleeding into him, coming from every angle.  
He’s hurt, but he’s surprised.  
Because, like nearly every movie, he didn’t realize what he had until he lost it,.

To say that your letter sent waves of shock through him would be a massive understatement. He read it over and over again, trying to understand how, what and why. He hates that when he thinks back because he understands how, what and why.  
How? He wanted your attention, you crave affection, and he never delivered despite his heart screaming at him to let go of the past and embrace something different.  
Why? It was unfair of you to play hero for him. He’d done the same for you, but your feelings were never quite clear to him. You’re the one that set the standards for the… situation. He just went along with it. He would never pressure you for more.   
In retrospect, he should have known. Other than Okoye, you are his best friend. But he was selfish and unselfish at the same time, as both of those are so balanced that they both outweigh each other and balance each other out in this scenario- he knew he couldn’t be with someone that didn’t want to be tied down to Wakanda. Not just because he’d want to find a queen one day, but because he couldn’t have another Nakia-sized heartache.  
And he’s not sure that he’d ever get over you.  
What? You’d moved on, and he needed to do the same. He needed to stop everything- stop trying to fill the gap and let it heal naturally, stop expecting so much from you with nothing else in return, stop wishing there was more to the feeling that he got when you two were with each other. He had to stop considering you his lover.  
And he had to stop loving you.  
It’s funny how he didn’t realize he loved you until you were gone. And he doesn’t hate   
you. He doesn’t even hate himself. He hates that he didn’t see what this could have been. That he let this slip out of his hands because he was chasing a dream.   
But running after you would be like chasing something impossible- he’d never truly reach you, because you are everywhere at once. Like a tree, he has put down roots. Like the wind blows leaves to new destinations, you’re always blowing through new places. Trees lose their leaves…  
And he loses you.

He finds himself in a bit of an odd position now, because you’re usually the person he’d come to in a time like this. BUt now he doesn’t have you, your comfort, your kisses, for your presence. He has memories, and he’s both hoping that they fade and that he can hold on to the,/ Because he doesn’t want to hurt, but he does not want to forget you either. He should if he wants to move on. But he’s not even sure if he wants to do that.  
He should.  
You don’t call him back, you don’t respond to his messages.  
You talk to him for six months, and then the phone calls become less frequent until one day they just...stop.  
So he moves on.   
He goes on dates.  
He mourns the loss of his dad.  
He takes on the mantle of king and Black Panther  
He takes each day and its challenges. And he always comes out stronger on the other side.  
In face, he is so over you that he doesn’t think about you for two months.   
Until he finds your letter when Shuri is helping him clean things out one day, and he misses you all over again.  
‘’Shuri, let me ask you something.’’  
‘’No, you should never wear those sandals in my lab again. No open-toed shoes.’’  
‘’Ha ha. No,seriously. I want to know… have you ever felt like you had one that got away?’’  
‘’I feel like that with my inventions quite often,’’ she nods, and he groans.  
‘’Shuri, I am being serious.’’  
‘’Okay, okay. Once. I never told you, but when we had those people come to tour the castle. That college, I met someone on that trip. And I don’t want to go into details, but I always wonder what would have happened if I had just called them back.’’  
‘’So what would you do if you suddenly wanted to go back and fix mistakes with someone?’’  
‘’If I were you, I’d call Nakia.’’  
‘’No, no. It is not Nakia this time,’’ he explains, and shows Shuri the letter/  
She reads it, and he can tell she is working to put the pieces together.  
‘’Ohhhh. You miss that girl who used to sneak into your room every so often. Your secret lover.’’  
‘’How did you know I called her that? How did you even know about her?’’  
‘’I hear all of your conversations, T’Challa. The walls are thin, brother.’’  
‘’Shuri. Your bedroom is down the hall.’’  
‘’I used to spy on you when I was younger, too.’’  
‘’There it is.’’  
‘’I never saw anything bad, though. You two just talked a lot. But I also know that you used to really like a certain girl group. Karaoke was your favorite thing, huh?’’  
‘’Moving on: What should I do?’’  
‘’Well, brother. I am going to tell you what you told me when I was afraid of applying for colleges outside of Wakanda: you may not like her decision, but you’ll regret it if you don’t make the right decision for you. And you’ll regret never acting when you want to act.’’  
‘He mulls that over, chewing on his bottom lip and frowning at the letter.  
It’s not that he doesn’t know what’s going on with you.He sees you on television all of the time, sees your work and reads your blog. He’s glad you’re doing well. Knows that you have to add anything serious. Knows that he will regret the decision not to at least go and talk to you face to face.  
‘’Shuri. I hate it when you are right.’’  
‘’Then you must feel that way a lot, T’Challa.’’  
‘’Shuri.’’

He finds himself outside of your door, having gotten away from Wakanda for the e weekend with the promise to check in as Shuri takes over minor duties for hi,. And he is surprised, because being kind is far less intimidating than anything he has seen as the Black Panther, protector of Wakanda.  
You answer the door, and he feels butterflies coming in his stomach again. And after not having felt that way in a long time, he’s not exactly sure how to feel with the experience.  
He may have moved on.  
But he’s nearly 100% sure that he is still in love with you.  
‘’T’Challa?’’  
‘’Y/N…hi.’’  
Because of course he freezes now.  
‘’T’Challa? W-what are you doing here?’’  
‘’Can I please come in? I… I really need to talk to you.’’  
And you let him into the apartment.  
A week later, you let him into your life again.  
Not too much later, you are letting him call you his wife.  
Pretty soon, he hopes to be the dad of your children.  
And it begins again- he believes in love. He’s found love. You’re back. You're his best friend, his lover, his wife, his confidant.   
It’s like you two were pulled together the way stitches pull fabric together- you can clearly see where you were torn. But you also know that great care was taken so that the fabric- your relationship- would be better, seamless almost, a natural fit. The stitches serve as a reminder that things can sometimes be patched up, that you both have matured and found your way back to each other.  
And, because of that, he doesn’t mind if the world sees every single, carefully sewn stitch in the pattern that is your life with him.  
‘’Dear Y/N,’’ his letter to you begins as he writes his last note to you before you become Mrs. Udaku and the Queen of Wakanda, ‘’My dear, sweet, beautiful lover. I am so glad to have roots with you. I will see you at the altar as well.’’  
Because the woman who claimed she’d never settle down, never put down roots in one town finally did.  
And he’s happy to see just what this will grow into.


End file.
